At home with …Stefania Allen & kids

“My personality is not very patient so when I wasn’t able to get pregnant immediately within the first year of trying, I took matters into my own hands and went to what I thought was the best private fertility practice in the city. They suggested I be aggressive about my ‘infertility’ and suggested I do IVF…”

Quadrille wallpaper, Pottery Barn Kids toddler bed

On Stefania: Cushnie et Ochs top, Frame jeans

“I had tunnel vision and was prepared to do whatever I had to in order to have a baby so I took their suggestions and started the treatment. I ended up getting a rare side effect called ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome and was left in the ICU for a week after the procedure. It was one of the most horrible life threatening experiences I’ve ever been through but I don’t regret it for one second.”

On Stefania: Ellery tunic

“After getting pregnant naturally with both my boys after this horrible experience, it made me realize that you can’t control everything and push too hard. It also showed me that you can’t trust every doctor. You have to be your own advocate and if something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. The irony is that I was so fertile that I ended up getting pregnant by accident with my second when our first was only four months-old.”

Quadrille wallpaper, Jonathan Adler giraffe sconces

On Stefania: Cushnie et Ochs top

“I was lucky to have two older sisters that experienced motherhood before me and were there for me throughout both my pregnancies and postpartum. One of the best pieces of advice came from my oldest sister who told me that after the birth of her first born she would cry for no reason at all. Just after the birth of my first born, I experienced the same. If I didn’t know about my sister’s experience, I probably would have worried but luckily I knew that my hormones would take over and that it was probably more normal to cry for no reason than not to.”

On Stefania: Tibi dress

On Elias: Zara overalls

“Dry shampoo: After long nights with kids, I don’t wash my hair nearly as much as I used to! And I use Aquaphor for everything.”

On Stefania: Tibi dress

On the boys: Zara overalls

“It’s sad to admit but I don’t make the time to work out. I guess ‘me’ time is spent in the late hours watching bad TV and working 😉 I’m working on working out. One of my 2017 New Year’s resolutions is to try to do yoga or pilates a few times per month. We’ll see how long I can keep this up!”

On Stefania: Tibi dress

On Elias: Zara overalls

“It’s exactly what everyone says it will be—it’s definitely an adjustment at first. My husband and I make an effort to have date nights and we have dinner together at home at least five times a week as we were both raised to do. Our lives are so busy so if we don’t sit down for dinner together, I feel like I would never see him!”

On Stefania: Tibi dress

On Elias: Zara overalls

Quadrille wallpaper, Pottery Barn Kids toddler bed, Monte Design glider, Oeuf toy storage unit

Hardest part about being a mama:

“I’ve always been a worrier, so having children has only made it worse. You can’t imagine loving someone the way you love your children so the fear of something ever happening is unimaginable. I try never to let my mind go to those places, but when dealing with children with food allergies and asthma, it is challenging to not obsess about worst case scenarios. I think one of the hardest things about being a mom is the fear that I have about something happening.”

On Stefania: Ellery tunic

“Both Andreas and Elias are allergic to eggs and nuts. We discovered Andreas’ allergy when he first tried eggs when he was one year old and then started seeing an allergist who discovered his allergy to peanuts. Food allergies are scary because if you’re not always eating at home, you don’t always know the ingredients in everything. Even the smallest amount of an allergen can set off a reaction. We’ve had to leave a kid’s party because he broke out into hives when he accidentally touched a cake made with eggs. Luckily, Andreas is older now and knows about his allergies but it can be quite daunting.”

On Stefania: Cushnie et Ochs top, Frame jeans

“We went away to Punta del Este with the kids for the holidays this past year. It was one of the most relaxing and fun trips we’ve had since having the boys, and I realized it was because I wasn’t constantly trying to multi-task. When I was playing on the beach with the kids, I was focussed just on that. When I was sitting at dinner with my husband and my parents, I was present in the conversation. A lot of the time, I’m trying to respond to work emails and do something with the kids at the same time which is impossible. So one of my New Year’s resolutions that I’m the most passionate about is to put my phone away from the time I get home from work until the kids are asleep. I think this will make me a much better mother, wife, daughter, employer, etc.”

Paintings by Alex Katz

On Stefania: Ellery tunic

“I see the way that both my husband and brother treat their mothers, and I can only hope my boys will treat me the same!”

“I was born in a Spanish speaking home, so it’s hugely important for me that both our boys speak Spanish. Our biggest challenge thus far is that both boys understand everything but only choose to speak English. I can speak in Spanish and both will only respond in english. Hopefully that will change as they get older!”

“Because we had two little ones only one year apart, our biggest challenge was having two babies that were both so young but had different needs. Just as my oldest starting walking, I went into labor. The first year was a bit hairy but we’re coming out of that now!”

Pottery Barn Kids Kitchen

On Stefania: Cushnie et Ochs top, Frame jeans

“Labor can be intimidating but I was fortunate that after a difficult process to get pregnant, I found the most incredible OBGYN who forced me to be more patient than I normally am and trusted that my body would know what to do. Because of Dr. Brownstein, I had two incredible experiences. With Andreas, our first, the labor was longer because I didn’t have the epidural until we were sure that I was going into labor. The pain was pretty unreal, and I could understand why women scream in movies, but once I had the epidural, I fell asleep until it was time to push!”

On Stefania: Tibi dress

On Elias: Zara overalls

Sweet design details in Andreas’ room

Quadrille wallpaper, Oeuf toy storage unit